What a day...prayers, positive vibes, appreciated!

[Yoko]

Man oh man. Well my mom had her triple bypass today and it turned into a quadruple bypass. They also said due to her smoking and bad diet choices she has the arteries of an 80 year old. (she's 54). Also the heart normally pumps out 60% of our blood when healthy, her heart is pumping out 20% and this will never improve. It just is what it is. Oh and my son had his dr appt today (he's autistic) for some issues we've been having and he wants him to be tested for seizures. Ugh.

[dwindsweptwayne]

*warm hugs and positive energy* Hon, if your mom wants to make changes, there are still things she can do. Even for me, where one of the chambers of my heart is damaged from chemo and basically dead, I got improvement in the amount of blood my heart can move through gentle movements, yoga, and swimming. She'll always struggle a bit. I deal with angina, and sometimes find myself too exhausted just from daily life to make it to the pool -- but even a little bit, slowly and gently done, can help if you're even the smallest bit consistent -- hopefully, her doctor will get her a good physical therapist like my cardiologist did for me, who can ease her into a routine that will help her get the most out of the heart she has left.

Good thoughts, too, for your son. I have a few friends dealing with the issues of autism, and I applaud your strength and send peace for his challenges.

[Yoko]

Thank you so much darlin!!! It's been a hard day to say the least. Went to the hospital and while she's doing well enough they want her walking around and sitting up as much as possible, she's in a lot of pain and doesn't want to do it. She just wants pain meds and to sleep. I had to leave after 10 minutes of being there because she was just SO mean to everyone there. But I understand why. She made it through and is breathing on her own and her heart is pumping on it's own.

[dwindsweptwayne]

I know. It's hard. You can't choose for her, though, honey -- all we can do is respect their choices for what they want from their lives, and do our best not to let it eat away at us. My kin, both mates and kids, are always railing at me for pushing myself too much -- and I know that I have limits, but I have to test myself against them, even if it does make other people uncomfortable, or I won't be happy in my own skin. It's hard, letting go of that place were we try to fix other peoples' lives so the choices they make won't hurt us so much... but in the end, at least for me, having both myself and my family come to peace with the fact that they're uncomfortable with me bucking the rules and pushing my boundaries, and I am emotionally and spiritually incapable of NOT pushing those boundaries and testing my limits has left us at least comfortable in each other's company, regardless of what happens. *Hugs you tight*

PS: It occurred to me that you might be able to sit with your mom and, with as little judgmentalism as you can manage, ask her how she sees the next few years of her life -- it may be that, once she's over the trauma of the surgery, she'll be more interested in participating in her life again... but if not, and if she sees herself just sitting and watching life go on, at least you'd know that and have an idea of what her expectations for herself are. My kids did that with me, and it really helped all of us a lot.